It’s not uncommon to hear a freaked out mom asking for advice about an imaginary friend or even multiple imaginary friends a child may have. Some are always there, others will pay an occasional visit, some are human, others are pets or very original creatures. You might have to set the table so that the imaginary playmate “can eat, too” or read a book for both, or listen to your child share stories with someone you can’t see, or even apologize if you’ve accidentally tripped on them . While it surely may be weird, the main question here is: “Should I be concerned?”
Experts say that children (usually – toddlers) sometimes need imaginary friends, and for some of them it’s an essential part of character development. The games toddlers play with their imaginary friends can be extremely stimulating for the imagination and also helpful in letting you in on what your child is feeling. It is common for kids to transfer their fears onto their imaginary friends.
What is more, professionals say, “they can help kids figure out the difference between right and wrong. Kids sometimes have a tough time stopping themselves from doing things they know are wrong. Blaming the imaginary friend for eating cookies before dinner is often a sign that the child understands right vs. wrong distinctions but isn’t quite ready to assume complete responsibility for her actions”.
So, what you should understand as a parent is that this kind of behavior is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. It is crucial, however, to keep to certain guidelines. First and foremost, try to make sure that your kid is still social and interacts with other kids. It’s perfectly fine if s/he wants to play with an imaginary friend, but socializing with peers is key. Try to track down and address cases when your kid insists on blaming the imaginary friend for everything bad s/he’s done. It shouldn’t turn into a pattern.
Also you will need to be kind to your kid’s friends and fight the wish to use them to get your kid to do something. It’s your child who is going to have to learn to eat veggies for example, and his or her imaginary friends should be out of the picture and the examples you’re using.